Over these past few days in Rome, I have come upon the idea of two sorts of anger. I called one ‘hurt anger’ and the other ‘holy anger’ — the first coming from the the ‘false self’ and the other from ‘true self’.
These thoughts are in part the result of an article which I started reading on the flight from Geneva to Rome. It is entitled “A Contemporary Interpretation of the Exercises of St Ignatius”. Its author is Jacqueline Glénisson (a religious of the Sacred Heart, missionary, educator, spiritual companion and hermit, who has lived many years in Africa and Spain). It was just published in Cristianisme i Justicia, based in Barcelona.
In it, the author differentiates between estar and ser, two verbs which only have one translation in English, ‘to be’. Estar would be used for example in an expression like I am happy, I am sad, or I am bored. Ser, on the other hand, would be found in a sentence like I am the child of Godde, I am lovable, or again I am a loved sinner. In estar, ‘to be’ represents a shallower, temporary state. In ser, ‘to be’ identifies a deeper and permanent state.
It thus seems to me that my anger will be different whether it comes from a shallower or from a deeper level. The first may be just a reflection of ‘disordered affections’ (false self developed over my earlier years) or inspired from a connection with Godde’s spirit at a level which was there from birth, or even before birth (a level which I may have rediscovered in later years).
The anger born out of my false self will be vindictive, bitter, and destructive. The anger from my true self will be non-violent, and a source of positive change and renewal.
This is pretty much where my thoughts stopped. Now, when angry, I will do my best to find out its origin and see after a while if my theory is valid.
Below you will find my translation of the passage which I found so thought-provoking.
1.5 Distinction between being (el ser) and being (el estar)
The level of being/estar is superficial. At this level the perception of reality is continuously distorted through the effects of emotions, time, space, feelings , prejudices, customs, reasonings, fear, desire, or health. The reference point is the ego. The judgment is subjective and is treated as any object . Stress, agitation, and noise are normally the result of living at this level of being/estar.
The level of being/ser is profound. At this level, one can grasp the reality as it is, beyond all fluctuations. The point of reference are things, people, the ‘I’ or events in themselves, outside of their relationship with me. There everything is amazing. The judgement is objective, and everything is treated as a subject. In the silence slowly we get to live at the level of being (ser). We can feel as “In him we live and move (ser) and have our being,” (Acts 17:28). There we discover the inexhaustible source of God who gives himself.
Between being/estar and being/ser is a zone of blocks made upof fears, addictions, defenses, wounds that make it to difficult to reach the level of being/ser. For this one needs to reserve every day a space of silence and become aware of one’s own self (ser), beyond the level of being/estar. This space, little by little, will grow wider till it informs the level of being/estar and integrate and integrate one’s whole life. Then, without knowing how, the closed circle of the ego will break and the infinite wonder of compassion will unfold. As St. Ignatius says, we will be able to “see all things in God and God in all things.” (Constitutions 288 )
Such is the true sense of indifference: the paradox that allows to live with an intense interest in everything and, at the same time, with complete freedom. Everything interests me and at the same time is all the same to me.
All this is set out at the beginning of the U.S. for travel slowly along the process and make it an actual way of life in the practitioner .
Jacqueline Glénisson of Walque, Religious of the Sacred Heart. Missionary, educator, spiritual companion and hermit.
A contemporary Interpretation of the Exercises of St. Ignatius (7-8)
Photo: found here