For some time now, I have entered quiet times. I could call them simply ‘silence’ but I am no expert in silence, an apprentice at best, a dilettante too often. I write this as I am facing one of my favorite places: the Atlantic Ocean and the vast expanse of the sky facing our patio in viejo San Juan. I have spent many happy hours here staring at my sisters the waves and and my brothers the clouds.
How can I talk of quiet times when in fact these are busy days when I can neither linger nor lounge the way I like to? Because my busyness comes wrapped in layers of inner silence, a silence in which I revel. By day and by night.
I have already written about this feeling of being called to silence. Well, this call seems to come ever stronger.
The silence of my blog is due more to my busyness than to silence itself. I have accepted the reality that, at this time, I usually do not have enough space in the day to be with my family, study the French highway code (quite a challenge), prepare for a retreat in Barranquitas, and spend time writing a blog.
Also, I am aware that in two months from now I will have started a thirty day retreat and will find myself unable to blog for a while. If I add my quiet times, the silence forever enticing me more, and the prospect of thirty days in Manresa, all my being truly wants to do, when it finds a quiet moment, is to sit and soak in the world around me.
It is a bit as if I were sitting in the palm of Godde’s hands, absorbing the warmth and love of Her presence, as She is watching me…
It does not mean that I don’t react to what I hear or read. I am still as judgmental and opinionated as before. The silence either muffles my reactions or makes them feel rather unimportant considering the well-being I am experiencing in the depth of my being.
Maybe I am just growing mellow in my old age. Maybe what really counts is the authenticity of love I encounter around me, among my family and friends, with simultaneously becoming aware of wanting to open my heart to the whole world in a quiet sort of way… Maybe it’s just the silence before a change, the gestation before a new birth…
Some of the books I have recently been reading:
Richard Rohr’s Immortal Diamond: The Search for Our True Self
Robert Sardello’s Silence, The Mystery of Wholeness
Franz Jalics SJ’s The Contemplative Way: Quietly Savoring God’s Presence
Richard Rohr’s Silent Compassion, Finding God in Contemplation
Photo: A Patio with a View