… My home, my husband, my children, my friends, my enemies, my background, my degrees, my career, my money, my car, my health, my stress, my hangups, my wounds, my sins, my fears, my travels, my journey, my hopes, my analyst, my spiritual director, my charities, my intelligence, my wisdom, my spiritual life, my Godde. Mine, mine, mine. All mine…
These thoughts have been weighing on my mind, “my mind”, more than usual, possibly because I have been reading this —
The truth that sets us free is knowing that we do not proceed from a whim coming out of nowhere, by chance or out of a necessity, but from a source of unspeakable love, constant and unending, which Jesus experienced as flowing from a depth which he called Abba. Knowing that we come from such an Origin opens us to a trust and freedom ever-ready to begin. From this truth flows freedom because it reveals to us that existence is a pure gift given for the sake of giving. What prevents us from being free is the fear of losing ourselves. We live clinging to everything without knowing it, in a state of shock. If we find out that life is a gift, we have nothing to lose, because we’ve never owned it. We are only its steward. To live this way frees us. But this truth, which is freedom, is elusive and is awaiting to unfold in a multitude of situations and nuances: in the complex entanglements with ourselves, in our relationships of domination over or dependence on others, in the meaning we give to our beliefs and codes of behavior that we have learned to restrain ourselves, creating both personal and collective identities in which we remain constricted. Frequently we remain caught up in all this instead of being the wings which give us the impulse to rise toward greater horizons.
Javier Melloni, El Cristo Interior, 65-66
Yesterday’s gospel was the treasure buried in a field (Mt 13:44-46). That treasure is Godde’s love for me, not even “my” love for Godde, this Origin of love and grace, gratuitous giving, this horizon calling the Godde hidden in me toward the everlasting Godde everywhere.
My stuff is in the way until I can give it all back to the One who has given it all to me.
Photo: found here.