God is love, and whoever remains in love
remains in God and God in him.

1 Jn 4:7-16

Today’s readings were truly beautiful. In Deuteronomy, I was touched by “he brought you out with his strong hand from the place of slavery”… Yes, Godde has brought me out many times throughout my life from various places of slavery. Every bit of Ps 103 was a balm to my spirit: “Bless the Lord, O my soul; all my being, bless her holy name”. Matthew’s gospel, of course, was a time of respite and comfort, “For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”

John’s First letter, however, spoke to my heart — “everyone who loves is begotten by Godde and knows Godde”. Reading the excerpt felt like being caught in a river of grace and love… “Godde remains in her and she in Godde”. Love is a fruit of the Spirit.

It dawned on me, then, that anytime I feel love for someone, or feel the need to love someone better, Godde’s spirit is in me. 

I have noticed that after forty three years of marriage, at times Paul and I are like two porcupines. We like to be close, but when we are too close we prick each other. It is then that I call on love to open my heart and my ears, my eyes and my mind, instead of reinforcing the petulance of my False Self with its need to say the last word.

Not long ago, at a dinner with some very dear friends, we started talking of other friends and I heard myself say things which I had carried within my heart and of which I feel little pride. I was given to see then what I was doing and how I was not the person I would like to be. Since then, I have called on love again to return to Godde and remain in Her.

Love is a source of joy, which nestles somewhere inside my heart. It brings about gratitude and hope, and a certain detachment toward the unpleasantnesses in life. Life and love are so much greater than all the frustrations I do run into.

These past nine days I have prayed the Novena to the Sacred Heart with Sacred Space. Beautiful music, beautiful thoughts. A willingness to turn my heart and mind toward a devotion which feels somewhat foreign to me. Still, as a result I stumbled on the prayer to ask for the grace to know Jesus, to love Him and to follow Him. This prayer itself was a grace for me, for it identified clearly the person I would like to become.

Maybe then the nice moment I had this morning with John’s first letter comes as a gift from the Novena: the feeling that whenever I love and wish I could love, I remain in Godde and She remains in me, and I become part of the divine cosmic dance of the Trinity.


Photo: Puerto Rico, where Godde never fails to wait for me when I happen to stop there