Go first and be reconciled. Mt 5:26

It is not easy to return from a long immersion into holiness and mysticism. My soul keeps fluttering like a butterfly, landing on this thought, or that one, beholding the beauty of what is at hand, and spacing out.

Back in our old house, we have resumed our morning prayer at the kitchen table, this time with a twist: first, we each go to our room for a while and pray the daily readings on our own. Then we come down to the kitchen, light a candle, read the passages, and share what we’ve found in then for us this day.

Be Reconciled. Reconciliation brings up the idea of healing and “making whole,” this new expression found in Sr. Ilia Delio, OSF’s The Emergent Christ. Becoming “whole-maker”, repairing what’s broken, making anew what’s fragmented.

Be reconciled with your brother, says Jesus. My brother, sister, parents, grandparents, relatives, in-laws, friends, colleagues, neighbors, priests, Church — myself…

While in Manresa, the first morning of our eight-day silent retreat, I watched fascinated the waters of the Cardoner river, heavy and muddy after several days of stormy weather. I could not take my eyes away from the debris twirling, over and over, in a pool of their own, as if forgotten by the stream itself. I saw in it all the flotsam I carry in the waters of my own life. Sure enough, some time later, the river once again looked clear; the branches and plastic bottles had been carried away.

In the weeks following the retreat, I found out that pretty much every other participant had gone through the same reflection, as if the Spirit had ensured that Nature itself would be one of our spiritual guides.

Before I left Manresa, I planned to write a string of small papers with the names of people and situations that I wanted to let go with the river, as a gift from my heart to Godde of all that is no longer needed in my life. But I never got to do it. Fortunately, not far from my house is a lovely river awaiting my gift of ghosts past.

As I read the Gospel this morning, my mind did not come up with any rancid grudge. My inner stream rippled peacefully. I felt already reconciled or maybe, more accurately, in a process of continuous reconciliation. It is time now to go beyond reconciliation and making whole all that was or still is fragmented. Saying Yes to Godde, Yes to Life, Yes to The Other, and Yes to myself.

Be reconciled. I sense that if I want to follow the Risen Christ, I must let go of my past and not look back.

Go and be reconciled. A spring of peaceful water sings in my heart, echoing the songs of the birds in the garden.  Love your Godde, your neighbor, and yourself.

In the name of the Risen One…